Want Soda?

Happy Ash Wednesday! 

It's on! Mistress is giving up Soda and the effect is already showing cause she's slurping down that muddy looking stuff from the hot pot.

Hmmm Soda....

*Meow!!! *

She's moved my food!

NO!!!!!!!!

It's in the kitchen now, next to my bag... maybe that's a better idea. At least it's not going to smell like my cat box.  :-)

Mistress is bitching at me this morning. Saying that she's gonna have to change the sheets on the bed, due to sweating last night. HEY! I couldn't help if I was cold! Just proves to show you that, you don't need to turn the darn heat off cause, this kitty gets cold!!!
Hehe. I was all but TAPED to her back. No room for her to roll over.

Yep.

Hmmm soda Mistress...

Soda....

I want beads!

Likes beads

This is one Cat that will flash his manly, neutered chest for the beads for Fat Tuesday. 

Meow!

Mei! Mei!

Bead mei here!!!

Mistress said I should consider giving up something for Lent when I go get my ash from the local dog priest. Ok... I'll give up Shrimp for whatever length of time it is. Mistress is giving up her soda so, that should be interesting to see how it goes. Bet I last longer than she does. She's already sucking one down before she goes to bed. 

So the bet is on. A bag of shrimp is what I'll win if I come out first. If she goes the 40 days with out a sip of soda, then my potty box gets moved out of the potty room and into the kitchen (out in the open) where everyone will see me doing my business. I'm not too thrilled about that one. 

I mean... well; Bear knows what I'm getting at.

Yep...

I'm gonna win this bet. 

Early morning rubbings

Head rubs

Yeowwww! My ears!

It's mistress again, sawing those logs. Wow! I better wake her up so she'll stop making that awful noise.

*Paw to the head*

Mistress: "snort"

*Paw paw to the head*
Mistress rolls to her side.

*eyes her hip which in cat terms; is a HUGE mountain of rump to bite*

*ears back, crouch, tail flicks*

*Hung Kong Kitty!* *Jumps, lands on hip*

Mistress: "Growl"

*eyes her foot moving under the blanket*

*ATTACK!!!*

Mistress kicks and rolls to her back.

*sigh*

*Walks up to her pillow and gives Cat stare*

Mistress: "Ok, ok... I'm awake your lordship. Food?"

MEOW *no*

Mistress: "What then?"

*Silly question Mistress. Rub me!*

Mistress: "Want scratches? Come're buddy."


PURRRRR

Can I have some alone time?

  Meow!!!

  My mistress really has this habit of walking in on me, at the wrong times!

What happened to my own privacy for cats-sake??? I leave her alone when she has that one male visitor that comes over so, why can't she just leave me alone when it's my 'bear' time?

I had planned this crazy morning of roughing it with Bear when Mistress leaves for work. But while she was in the bathroom, she let it slip that she had today off and was going in for her teeth work (use that mouth wash Mistress; you need it!). But the next thing I know is, she's walking around our place, clucking like one of those chickens that we watch on the National Geographic channel on the black box. I suppose this means that she's staying home and playing chicken instead so; Sorry Bear, no "alone" time for us.

 the cat stash

I found that the bookcase in the office was paws off to me. I had jumped up onto the 3rd shelf, trying to reach that bag of 'catnip' that I sooooo love. Thought I'd be sneaky by getting hold of Mr. Green and placing him in the potty-room waste basket where, Mistress dumps my poop when she cleans my box several times a day.

MEOW!!!

Thought she was gonna have a heart attack while digging out Mr. Green who, I made sure was firmly down towards the bottom of the waste basket. She wasn't too pleased to see that I had gotten the stash bag down and was rolling around in my cat-nip.

Ahhhhh I'm such a much happier cat now!

No eating the pussy....cats

It's got me SO bothered about this Redneck, nut job over here in Oildale that lives just a few blocks down who, was recently arrested for KILLING and eating my distant relatives!

MEOW!!!!

So! So!, terrible!!!

Cat Killer in the Oildale area

I'm glad that my Mistress doesn't care for eating cats... just birds, cows and an occasional pig. And this item called Chocolate. I only find it very bitter to my taste. But cheese is another story all together.

MEOW!!!! I loveeee cheese.

PC time!

*click*

Yay! MEOW!!! Mistress has left for work and, at last, I can get on her pc (which she left signed onto) and get caught up on my email from other feline friends and get the blog updated. Meowwww I didn't think that she'd ever leave it on for me cause frankly; these last few days here at home, has been lonely ones without having access to my show (Thunder Cats). Instead, I have to listen to the radio.

CatGods!
Who would have thought that listening to the wailing from humans in the 70's would drive this cat batty?!? When Mistress introduced me to a group called Culture Club; I was ok with that. But Pink Floyd? Led Zepplin?
MEOW!!
I'm ok with Elton John. He's a cool  cat.

So Mistress actually band me from any pc usage over the weekend. She "forgot" to put food in my food dish before leaving for the day so, I; in return, decided to take and play "Jungle Kitty" and made a huge mess in our potty room. Yeowwww you should have heard her when she saw the cat litter from my box, scattered all over the floor and in the tub. We'll not mention my poop either.

Ohhhh someones at the door so this cat better scat!

Head bunts

Mistress pours food....

BUNK!

food goes everywhere.

Cat 1    Human 0

HIde and seak

Meow!!!!

It's been one hell of a week here at home! That storm that we had for those 2 days, had me about pulling my hair out from my butt! Literally! Gives new meaning to a 'hairless cat' don't it?

But seriously though, that wind storm had this kitty, hiding underneath the futon in the living room, until Mistress came home then, it was gloves off!
WHY do you leave me alone during the day??

Meow!!!!! It's not fun being on my own during the day. The only joy I get is either watching ThunderCats  on the screen or, chasing my feather toy around when the sun-beams are coming through the glass windows.
ThunderCats Rulez in mai books. Meow = ROAR! When I'm done watching an episode, I usually find myself, wondering into the potty room, and hop up onto the bathroom counter and gaze at myself in the mirror. Why call me FatBoy? It should be Claudus! Supreme ruler of my Mistress's home while she isn't here. Fierce heart and razor sharp claws... far sharper than hers!

My mistress is a sneaky old devil. She caught me up on her potty box, trying to figure out just how it works before I managed to slip and fall in it. Thank goodness that my Mistress is a fast cat; she caught me before my other foot managed to land in the blue water.

I better get going here. Got to hide all my mice in some good spots and make her search for them when she gets home. I found a SUPER good place for the lazer light that, she can't even locate it!

Football vs. The Bear

I don't get Football. I mean; all it is a bunch of guys wearing padding (and not just the sort of padding in that box in the potty room) who run after a ball. I couldn't even imagine running after a ball as far as they do.

Mistress sat played on her computer... some game called WOW and would turn and watch the commercials and talk to a picture frame of some old man.

 She calls him Dad. What's a dad?

Stop ignoring me... look! I brought Bear! I want to play catch with bear but, can't throw him to myself so: THROW him for me!

Even right at this moment while I'm typing my blog with both paws, she's ignoring me with watching the news.

And what are they talking abt? Football.

See? There's bear at her feet with my other toys and yet, I'm ignored. Go on with your football... I'll just jump up on the exercise bike and play. Just don't expect me to play with Mr. Green with you when you get home this afternoon.

Extra padding anyone?

  Since my potty box, food and water dishes are in the Mistress's bathroom, I figured that it was OK to play with anything that was in there. Nope. She's got plastic stuff wrapped around the tube thing next to her potty chair...but there IS this box that sits on the floor next to it. And you know us cats; we're a curious bunch.
The box was open and *paw top of it, which causes it to fall onto it's side* something white fell out. A pillow?

*paw, paw*

Ohhh there's more of them inside.

*sniff*

*ears pull back*

* Frankenstein arch*

*SLAP!*

It doesn't move. No reaction of any kind.

*sniff*

*paws box and pulls out another one*

hmmm box. Chew toy for this mighty Lion. *grabs box, bite, kick*

*slaps small pillow into my potty box*

*bites and places a pillow in food dish*

*kicks pillows and lands in water dish causing, it to swell up*

*EYES BULGE*

Meowww! WTH? I broke it! Oh no! Mistress will be peeved this time. *grabs hold of wet pillow and put it in potty box*

Maybe if I were to cover it up, she'll never notice it? *scratch scratch* God this potty box is getting too small for my large furry butt. *scratch scratch* There! That should do it! Better hide the rest of those pillows. Too late for the box since it's got my teeth  mark all over it. She'll never know now.

*grabs Mr. Green*

Play time. I'll just play with him at her feet. Maybe she'll not notice anything is amiss in potty room. :)

Blue Balls

  MEOW!!!!! My ears! Glad I got Mistress to stop her snoring this morning at 4:45am. I don't know how much more of it, that I can take! My brotherhood and I, don't even snore that much, nor that loud! How did I get her to stop? Well; licking her forehead didn't do the trick. Normally it does since it gross's her out so much that I use my tongue to clean myself with. What's wrong with that? It's just a little spit and sandpaper that moves! Anyway; I ended up draping myself across her stomach which, got me a few scratches behind the ear. *PurrRRrrrr* MORE!!!
Then the snoring started again. Ended up laying across her upper chest. THAT got her up. And as usual she got up, stumbled to the bathroom with me, trying my best to wrap myself around her ankles. I blocked her exit by laying across the floor with my head close to my food dish. Come on lady! Look at the food dish; it's empty and I want my meal!

But did she get me any food?

Nope.

I did get Mr. Green that, I mistakenly left in the sink (oops I'm busted now).

There's another new toy that Mistress brought home yesterday that I've so fallen in love with. It's blue which, compliments my orange fur (so the pup next door says to me). I've sunk my claws into it a few times, and not one time did Mistress say anything to me as she does when I'm clawing her desk chair or recliner. What's really cool is that, it has BALLS! Blue balls at that! And they jingle!

 Wonder what's going on? She's cleaning the living room... NO!!!! Not my toys!! Meowwwww she's moving them into the office which, can only mean one thing; she's going to have company over this weekend.

Sniff

Meow...

*ears perk*

There's that beep which only goes off when coffee is ready.

Hmmm kitty coffee...

I'll finish blogging later.

Short sight? Me??

Caught red handed

  Mistress bought me a few goodies from this place called Wallyworld. I have yet to see this place (nor like too) since she just informed me that it's a place not for cat eyes to view. Not with the mixture of rough necks and circus clowns that hang out there. She said that was the place where, she knocked off the red nose from the clown that was trying to steal my cat litter for my potty box from the shopping cart. BAD clown! I'll remember that the next time I swat your nose around.
  I hadn't realize that the cam was recording this morning after a certain someone stepped away from the room. But I sooo love human coffee; especially that hazelnut cream in it *PURRrrrrRRrRrRRrrrr*  I all but lay on the floor when she's pouring coffee in the morning and lay at her feet, on my back, with my paw pointing to my wide open mouth. But does she get the hint? Nope. So there I go behind her back and drink it from her cup.
 My vision is acting weird here of lately. Mistress said that I maybe a diabetic and need to watch how many 'treats' I eat during the day. What treats; I ask myself. Surely not that bag of Salmon Flavor Puffs from Friskies that's sitting on the desk in the office with all my toys and jungle gym. Hope that the next time that I need to run to the potty box that, Mistress is out of the way! I'm tired of running into her and then, having to shake the birds and stars that circle above my head away. *Meoowwwwie!*
 *Eyes Mistress* ohhhh she's eating my treats!

After 2 weeks with no mouse, I happened to fall off the futon (damn Mistress and her work shirts) and finally found my toy mice! I loveeeeeeeeeee my mice *PURRRrrrRRRRRrrrr*. Sometimes, I like to think that I'm a mighty Lion. No. Not Lion King; that guy was a huge coward. My one mouse (Mr. Green) thoroughly enjoys missing with me. At times, I have to give him the look that says; knock it off!
 I mistakenly tripped Mistress this morning. She was acting goofy with trying to get that square thing that she talks into to work. Think it had something to do with that website that she spends a lot of time on Facebook it's called. She was pretty bent out of shape when she landed on her leather shoes (let me tell you, those things are hard leather and not too pleasant to chew on).
 OK, so I figured out what she was going on about. She posted the correct answer had won herself a 10 buck certificate for food. Let's hope that she remembers to pick out shrimp. After all; I am a mighty Lion with a huge hungry for those little ocean crawling bugs.  That reminds me, I need to chase her feet while she walks in the hallway to get her attention with fixing that computer and put it on Justin.tv I was looking over her shoulder last night and she happened to come across a channel that plays Thunder Cats. Meowwww I likes!

Scratch up that recliner!

Put em up! Put em up!

Meow... just who am I? I'm a 4 legged terror, wrecking hovic whenever I get the chance!

Recouping from loosing my nuts

Piss my Mistress off, with every chance that I get. She got me neutered at the age of 8  weeks old (said we're going for a ride); yeah SOME ride that turned out to be. My mistress introduced me to these 2 pill pushers who, not only did they shoot me up with drugs, but they also had their wicked way with me. MEOW!!!! My nuts! OMG! Where are they? MEOW!!! Let me tell you; even though they took my manhood away from me, I still can get an erection. Mistress walked in on me (lord that was embarrassing!) when I was rubbing myself up against that toy bear that she gave me to "chew" on.

My sex toy BEAR

She pissed me off early this morning by kicking me out of her chamber. I mean; seriously!, I just wanted to play! Sorry you got pissed and bent out of shape for being woken before that gadget that you stick to the side of your head and talk to, went off, making you get up to drink that hot smelly blackstuff. But I showed her for booting me.
Yep sure did.
That lovely blue recliner that you set in and, sometimes fall asleep in while watching those boring reruns of Stargate?... it's now my scratching post.
So there! Try those apples!

Sniff sniff. *ears twitch*
What's that smell?
TUNA!!!!!!